The battle lines have been drawn. You have your list of expectations and requirements from the divorce, and so does your soon-to-be ex-spouse. The problem is that neither of you want to concede anything that you don’t have to. It may be an emotional stance, as is always the case with child custody and visitation disputes, but it can also be a practical one. The Virginia family court system is always an option, but it’s a slow and expensive one. Court costs and attorneys fees can make the assets that you’re fighting over seem inconsequential by comparison.
That’s why so many Virginia divorce attorneys recommend mediation as a fair, cost-effective alternative to a protracted court battle. In mediation, the objective is negotiation. The two divorcing spouses enter a series of structured, private sessions with an impartial third party—often a neutral attorney or retired judge—and attempt to find common ground. Mediation can be used to settle the distribution of assets or debt, child custody and visitation, child support, and alimony. Although both spouses may still need to retain family law attorneys. The most effective form of mediation requires both of your attorneys to be present and assist you with the mediation process. The mediator is not your attorney and can not guide you through the process. Mediation is non-binding. Either or both parties can walk away from the table if the mediation talks are not working or their counterpart is being unreasonable.
Oftentimes, retired judges seek work as mediators. These former officers of the court may be the preferred choice in that they have years of experience with remaining impartial. They have years of experience, and can sit there and inform the parties that they need to be reasonable and relay to them what the results of the facts of the given situation, would what results might come out of the same facts in a courtroom. This usually lends itself to the parties being willing to negotiate in a more reasonable manner.
In addition to the vast body of family law experience that most ex-judges bring to mediation, there is also a cost consideration. Although most divorcing spouses still retain the services of their lawyers, the cost of mediating is far less than a full blown trial.
Virginia family law judges prefer plans that have been agreed upon by both spouses. While you’re unlikely to get everything you want in mediation, you will retain some control over what you are willing to concede. That’s not always the case in the adversarial,“winner take all” setting of a courtroom.
Virginia Divorce and Family Law Attorney Claudia Zucker
Do you need a divorce attorney? Do you have questions about mediation and retired judges? We invite you to contact us today at (703) 596-1005. We're always just a phone call away.
